BLOG

Thursday

by James Anthony Zoccoli (Jaz), Actor/Writer of Wiggerlover [white boy + black dad = grey areas]

CAUCASIAN?  EVANSTONIAN??  AFROPOLSKITALIANO???

By the time I was 8 years old I had lived in Oak Lawn, Orland Park, Matteson, Rogers Park & Hyde Park – with my Polish family & my Italian family – BOTH.

We finally ended up in Evanston, but my head was still spinning.

So, when people asked me, “What are you?” I didn’t know what to say. 

This was partially due to this internal conflict of mine & partially due to my apparent amibuity.  I could identify with anybody, I related to everybody & nobody could tell what I was.  My hair was sorta’ wavy.  My nose was sorta’ big.  My complexion was sorta’ olive.  So, almost everyone I befriended assumed that I was whatever they were – or at least their parents did.

“You are Greek, no?” No, but I love mythology.

“Are you Jewish, yes?” No, but I love Jackie Mason.

“Eh…what you are – Armenian, eh?” No, but I love me some shish kabobs.

In Evanston, there were people from countries I had never even heard of before - & some that sounded downright fictitious.

“Estonia?” You made that up.

“Belize?” Puh-leeze.

“Latvia?” That’s an imaginary comic book place, right?

Plus, there were combinations that I would never have imagined.

Afro-slovakian, for example.

One my best friends in grade school was half-Japanese & half-Irish.

My parents best friends were a Black Man with a Jewish Wife whose children were Blewish.

There was even a kid in who had a father from Israel & a mother from Palestine who was Hebrewstinian.

So, I could have been anything in the world, from anywhere in the world & it wouldn’t have mattered, but all I wanted to be was anything but me.

Identity crisis.