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(dis)abling conditions

Posted by DCA Theater on April 16, 2009 in Site Unseen

Written by Julie Laffin, Site Unseen Curator

Julie and earth (self-portrait) photo: © Julie Laffin

it’s been a long, hard winter. the extreme cold and being cooped up for weeks on end at home have taken their toll. ironically, isolation is usually my best defense against a host of bizarre symptoms triggered by the least little thing. i might be reacting the gas heat in my house now along with the list of everything else that ails me. i spent a lot of time lying in bed flat on my back (crying). it was the best position to avoid almost constant dizziness and migrating pain. i also had severe bouts of fatigue, some tremulous episodes, brain shocks, vision problems, muscle twitches and spasms, frequent balance disturbances, and parathesias and neuropathies from minute chemical exposures and electrical sources. it’s been hard for me to compute on my laptop or talk on the phone. i have not seen my family in almost two years.

but now it’s time to focus, to try and see things through, crawl out of this hole and open myself to finding a bright spot. every year since 2004, i have been the curator of an exhibition at the chicago cultural center called site unseen. for one night in november artists take over the historic landmark building that was once the chicago public library and make site specific works tailored to the buidling which is rich with history, past, present and future (this amazing building will outlive us and future generations and in the event of nuclear winter will be the last surviving structure. it’s a monolith, replete with tons of marble of two of the world’s most famous tiffany domes).

the ephemeral nature of the show which features live and installation art, mostly performative, that goes up and disappears three hours later provides an interesting antithesis to the architecture. the first year the show was one night only because there was only one night in the calendar year that all the main ballrooms were available. after that it became institutionalized.

site unseen is a labor of true love. this year, for me, it’s about persevering and trying to shape something out of what is, not what was. there is a theme for our latest incarnation and you can probably surmise from the title it has everything to do with my current health status.

over the past four years i have become increasingly disabled by severe environmental illness. except for two months of last year, i reside in mchenry county, illinois where i’m generally confined to my house, the interior of my house more specifically. i am unable to go outside very much because i am severely sickened by laundry fumes, car exhaust, wood smoke and lawn chemicals to name the biggies. public interaction is a thing of the past. while in illinois, i only leave my house to go to the doctor (almost impossible now in the best of circumstances because of my severe fragrance reactions) and to get out for air by walking in the woods. i wasn’t always this way. in fact, i was a girl who rode a bike long distances and laid on sidewalks in gigantic self-made evening gowns. i traveled to perform my work and did the things other chicagoans do including commuting to the loop to work on michigan avenue on the twentieth floor of a high rise building.

so, how do i curate a show about being in and working with a physical space that i can no longer go to? this is the challenge claire geall sutton and i are grappling with as we construct what we think will be a very compelling and dynamic show, defined by my current limitations. today in spite of my symptoms, as i envision our show, i feel my lifeblood coming back and my hope resurfacing.

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